Sit Up!

Sit up!  Don’t you just want to yell that at times to someone you are talking to?  It is so rude to speak with someone, especially in a business environment or an interview, who is slouching.  It is disrespectful so pull yourself up and look engaged.  I remember there was a school superintendent who was in on stage with a meeting with parents and you would have thought he was in front of the TV with a remote in his hand.  He was reclining in the chair with his feet sprawled before him.  We were mortified.  People lost all respect for him and it appeared he would have preferred to be anywhere other than our meeting.

How you carry yourself tells a great deal about your self-esteem.  If you are hunched over, you most likely don’t have much self-confidence.  At least that is what it looks like.  This is especially true when you are first dating someone.  It is not very appealing to be with someone that seems to be lacking self-confidence.  You will appear to be needy and for women, you may be seen as a vulnerable and a target for abuse.  Even if you are nervous, that is to be expected but just sitting up straight, can make you feel better.  Most likely, the other person is anxious too.  Lean forward to show you are interested in what they are saying.

#posture #interview #kimcubittconsulting

1st Impressions and Relationships

You only have one chance to make a good 1st impression. The average person takes 4 – 7 seconds to develop an opinion of you. They are looking at your appearance, your non-verbal communication, do you smell, are your clothes, nails and teeth clean and are you smiling. If these things turn them off, it is difficult to change these impressions later on. Ladies, if you choose to dress provocatively, you may be labeled something you don’t want to be seen as. If you want that kind of attention, that is most likely what you will attract. If you want to be treated like a lady, dress, sound and act like a lady. Gentlemen, if you want to be seen as having some class, treat the women in your life with respect. Do you want to be with a lady or a tramp? Be careful what you wish for. If you hope to attract the right person, someone who genuinely cares about you as a person, you need to look at the “message” you are sending out. To get respect, you need to give respect. Good luck!

#firstimpression #relationships #kimcubittconsulting

Valentine’s Day – Who is your greatest love?

Happy Valentine’s Day! Ahhh, the “day of love.” If you are in a relationship, use this day and every day to let them know you care. I personally think that every day should be celebrated as a “day of love”. Doing little things for that special person all the time is just as important to keeping your relationship strong. Write a post-it note saying “I love you” and putting it on the bathroom mirror. Fill their car with gas. Make their favorite meal for them. If you are not in a relationship, that is okay. The most important person you need to love is YOU. You can’t hope to love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I used to use three affirmations and I’d like to encourage you to do so if you need a “self-esteem boost.” Complete these phrases, “I am _____________. I can ________________ and I will _____________.” What I wrote about myself was “I am kind, I can help others, and I will keep my heart open.” Once you have filled out these phrases, look in a mirror and repeat them several times. It can be while looking in the rear view mirror in your car (please wait until you are stopped at a traffic light first), a bedroom mirror, mirror at work or a bathroom mirror. Do this often throughout the day. Do this for as long as you need to. When I was first divorced, over 20 years ago now, I used to get down about being alone. While I have dated on and off since then, I realized that I don’t need another person to validate my qualities. I can do that myself. You can too. With time, your self-confidence will grow and if you want to be in a healthy relationship, you will find it. Your inner-strength in yourself will give off an energy that will attract others. Have a wonderful day. Remember, you are amazing!

#love #valentinesday #kimcubittconsulting

Sometimes I feel so small…

I’m sure you have heard poems about how small a person can feel when compared to a mountain or the ocean. I felt just that way today. I went to a Lunch and Learn Networking/Writing Meeting. I met some wonderful people and learned something as well. I arrived early and we were located on the 12th floor of an office building overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The views from the conference room were beautiful. It still takes my breath away whenever I see an ocean.

As I mentioned before, I am from Rochester, NY and to have the chance to see Santa Monica, California was a thrill. As I chatted with “new friends”, I was sharing what I had been doing while visiting California. One of them exclaimed, “we live here and often forget what there is to do.” I am learning how to be a “tourist” everywhere I go, even at home. Finding the beauty from the window of a conference room or stopping by the beach, even in February, can be fun. It is about 30 degrees in Rochester today and being able to walk in the sand and feel the sun on my face in Santa Monica, was my way of grabbing a moment to appreciate where I was and what I was doing. I would not have been able to do that at home, at least not warmly.

My challenge question for you is, “What can you do today to see things differently?” Notice the people and nature around you that make up your landscape. In doing so, your feelings about them might change to. Hopefully, in a positive light. Enjoy the moment and if you can, make a snow angel or dip your toes in the sand!

#kimcubittconsulting #perspective

What’s Happening in Your Community?

I have lived for 60 years in Rochester, NY. It is a culturally diverse community with many opportunities to enrich the lives of its residents. I realized that while visiting Los Angeles, I have not fully explored my own hometown. I am going to encourage you to discover your own neighborhood. You can either see it as a participant or even as a volunteer. Volunteering is a wonderful way to give back to your city/town and it will not only help someone in need, but studies show that it can bring so much to the lives of those who assist others. If you are ever feeling depressed, volunteering brings to light that there is always someone who has it worse than you do and people tend to feel better about their own circumstances. So get on the computer, check in with your church, call around and see where you can offer your time and talents. EVERYONE has something they can offer. Happy Exploring!

#diversity#culture#culturaldiversity#communityoutreach #kimcubittconsulting

Monday Morning Mindset

Ugggh! The dreaded Monday morning. Most people are struggling to get up to go to work. You came off a great weekend and hopefully spent time with family and friends. It was a chance for you to recharge your “battery”. I challenge you to shift your mindset about Mondays. This is the first day of the week and it is a chance for you to build your work skills to accomplish your goals in life. If you are not in a job that you enjoy, what transferable skills can you work on to take with you to your next job. Think of one skill each week to build. It will help you feel empowered. Good luck and Happy Monday!

#positivethinking#mondaymotivation #kimcubittconsulting

Common Courtesy

We occasionally seem to have forgotten the importance of being kind to others. Saying “please”, “thank you” and “Can I help you?” are all ways to show respect to others. Take the time today to make these simple, yet incredibly, powerful gestures to others. Don’t forget your family when considering these suggestions. Something as kind as holding a door for someone and smiling lifts both your spirits. Give it a try. I hope you have a great day.

#commoncourtesy #manners #kimcubittconsulting

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.